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INTRODUCTION TO DECONSTRUCTION
More Kenyans are experiencing emotional and psychological dysregulation than at any time in our short history. The rate of drug and substance addiction has risen over the last decade. This increase in addiction is not just among adults, but also children. One only needs to track the increase in the number of rehabilitation centers in…
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If you want to thrive in relationships, build a strong sense of self
We try to control situations in order to not feel fear Michael Singer A good man and his partner decide to go for couples therapy because they ‘can’t seem to stop fighting.’ They report that they used to be really good friends and truly enjoyed each other’s company but are seriously questioning if they should…
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How to cultivate self-awareness: Part 2
Another way of cultivating self-awareness is by develop compassion for yourself. Self-compassion is defined as being warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate. From this definition, you might appreciate how often we lack warmth and reflexively choose to not be understanding towards ourselves when we do not meet our own…
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How to cultivate self-awareness: Part 1
In the previous post on Take responsibility for your emotions, I outlined the broad benefits of owning our emotions. In this article, I will address the foundational step to learning how to be responsible for our emotions. The master key to emotional responsibility is the increase in self-awareness. It is said that you can never…
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Take responsibility for your emotions
We have this tendency to judge others. Those of us in strained relationships with our partners tend to do lots of judging. We see our partner’s behaviour from the lens of hurt and the perspective that their actions and emotions are designed to cause us pain. We become more alert to the things they are…
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Catch them when they are young
If emotional dysregulation is a key factor in many of our individual and relational problems, then the ability to healthily process emotions is a skill that should be taught to children both at home and in school. If this were the practice, we would certainly have less problem behaviour in our schools. Unfortunately, behaviour management…
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Dysregulation is the foundation
In the first article I published, I outlined that the Kenyan society is witnessing a range of psycho-social challenges at rates and intensities that we have not experienced in the past. I also suggested that the roots of these problems are related. In this article I will attempt to outline what I believe is the…
